Letting Go of Fears

I fear so many things, and I never realized just how much, until I reflect on what is causing my stress.

I fear for my daughter's health and safety to the point of struggling to leave her with others.  It's not that I don't trust others, it's that I feel I'm responsible no matter what and HAVE to be present.

I fear the balancing of my finances, that I will be able to provide adaquately for my daughter.

I fear not being an adaquate mother for her.

I fear not being able to be there for her because I don't always take care of myself the way I should.

I fear being a failure.

And then i saw just how much my fears hold me back.  I see just how little good my fears bring into my life.  I chose to leave all my fears and struggles at the feet of God.

Heavenly Father;

LORD, you are creator of everything and over all.  You have complete control and I thank you for your care and protection in my life.

LORD, forgive me for my doubt and fear.  Forgive me for holding back from what you want from me out of fear.  Why should I fear anything?  If you are for me, who can stand against me?

LORD, take my fears, get rid of them. Give me the peace of knowing that you are in control and that you are protecting and caring for Alayna even more than I am.  Guide me in my finances and help me to trust that you will provide all that we need.

LORD, create in me the kind of mother you wish for me to be.  Guide me in how i raise Alayna, help me to raise her prepared for what your will for her is.  Aide me in my journey to a healthier me.  Guide my decicions in what I eat and when I exercise.  Help me to crave you before food and sustain me and satisfy me in the foods that I eat.

I know that I can not fail if I am in your will.  Guide me where you want me.  I will go without question.

In Jesus' name I pray
AMEN

Are You Hiding Your Light?

Matthew 5:13-16

“You are the salt of the earth. But if the salt loses its saltiness, how can it be made salty again? It is no longer good for anything, except to be thrown out and trampled by men.

     “You are the light of the world. A city on a hill cannot be hidden.  Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house.  In the same way, let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven.

God calls us to tell others about Him.  This can be a very scary challenge for many of us.  But our faith shouldn't merely be something that is spoken from our mouths.   It should be obvious in our lives.

That doesn't mean we will be perfect.  We will never be perfect until we have our new bodies promised to us by God when we enter heaven.  Until then there is an expectation that we strive to live our lives as closely to the will of God as we can.

What does this mean for us?  This means we need to know the will of God!!!

"But God hasn't shown me his will", you might retort.  But he has, it's written in his word.  Open your Bible, read, see and learn the character and will of God and then LIVE.  Live for the God who Died  so that you could have life.

In the shadow of our Independence Celebrations I want everyone to realize that our greatest freedom comes when we fully submit ourselves to God and He releases the chains our sins have put on our lives.

Do you want true freedom?  Then know God, follow his will the best you can, and allow him to set you free, and be His light to the world, allowing others to find his freedom as well!



I Am Not My Own

I recieve InTouch Magazine.  It is a month Christian publication that has some very good articles, but my favorite are the 6 day a week devotionals (i gues you could read the weekend one once on saturday and once on sunday if you wanted to).

Today Wednesday July 6th.       1 Corintians 6:19-20

Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body.

 In the devotional it talks about how, we as christians are appalled any time there is vandalism at a church.  We're shocked that anyone could desecrate a temple of God in such an ugly fashion.

But we've missed the mark.  The Church Building is merely that, a building.  The church is the body of believers that meets with in the building.  And the God's holy temple is each one of us.  The place where his spirit dwells.  Any one who has ever attended church knows that when we choose to love the LORD with all our hearts and with all our soul, and with all our strength, and with all our minds, then the Holy Spirit comes to live inside of us.

And yet we give no thought to how we abuse our bodies.  We daily desecrate the temple of our LORD without a single thought because "it's my body, i can do with it what i please".

We honor God with our words and actions.  Part of those "actions" are honoring God with our bodies.  By treating our bodies well.

I know i'm guilty of this or i wouldn't be almost 100lbs overweight.  I put aside the wonderful food God has given me to nurish and strengthen and create growth, and I ate junk.  The only growth i saw was on my waist line.  I topped the junk off with, laziness, because I was too tired to exercise (and excuse I'd use to justify sitting on my butt and eating over getting up and moving the way God designed my body too).

How can God use us when we've destroyed our bodies outside of how God created them.   I use to justify my weight saying "God made me this way, i should be happy with it".  The truth is, God didn't make me this way.  He didn't make m in a way that brought me guilt and shame everytime I  enjoyed a candy bar.  He didn't create me a way that makes me feel less of myself.  He created me in a way for so much more than this, and I changed me through the sin in my life, through the vandalism i caused upon HIS temple.

So if anyone else struggles with what i struggle with; remember....

You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body.

I know for me, it has put everything into perspective.

God Bless America!!

While it is still June, we are quickly approach July. 

July 4th, 1776 our Declaration of Independence was signed.  Not by all, it was in fact an act of treason again the throne of england.

Had we lost the war, those who fought for our freedom that first time would have been hung as traitors, or worse, drawn and quartered as a way to signal to every one that dissonance against the crown is not allowed.

But WE WON.

We won our freedom, and those who died to free us were justified in their actions.

Through the Consititution and the Bill of Rights we were granted rights as citizens of this great country.

The founding fathers didn't write in riddles, they clearly stated what it was they wanted and expected from our government and those who would given the responsibility to run it.  There was no room for interpretation of what they meant, they were clear.

No where in the Declaration of Independence, Constitution, or Bill of Rights does it say anything at all about a separation of Church and State.  It does however say that government is not permitted to pass laws governing the establishment or way of worship of any religious organization, be it Christian, Muslim, or any other religion.  It does not say that religion can't be in our schools, it does not say that religion can not be in our court rooms, it does not say that religion can not be in the public city square.

In fact in his farewell address George Washington said "We can not have National Morality apart from religious principle".

We have stopped teaching the generations where our morals come from, and thus they leave them at the wayside, diving our country deeper and deeper into a state of moral degradation.

Sure this song is from the 1990's, but it's still true.  We Need God in America Again!  And we need Americans who are not afraid to fight for the rights that were granted to US along with every other American to not be stopped by our government for worshipping our God the way we wish.

People died so we could have these freedoms, will we let their deaths be in vain while we sit idlely by and let these rights they fought to bravely to obtain be stripped from us?

Looking Back

I have been home for three days now from my Missions trip to Oklahoma.  I have always been told that you go on the missions trip to change the world (or at least a part of it), but you always come home being changed by the people you meet.

They're right.  I lived in Pittsburgh for going on 3 years, lived around it for almost 5, so close to 8 years total in the city and the neighboring towns.   I never really saw the people around me.  Even in the small rural community i grew up in or the one i live in now, i knew of people without ever really knowing them.  I realize that I saw the physical person, the one standing before me, but it never really impacted me beyond the fact that their presence was there.  I never really saw a need in them.

The truth of the matter is, you don't need to live near an inner city area, or a 3rd world country to meet people who are in need.  I may struggle to make ends me from month  to month sometimes, but i have never truly been without.  I've always had a home, a bed, and something to eat.  I've always had my basic needs provided for.  I've never truly been alone, I've always had someone to turn to for help or support.

For some people these simple things I have always seen as constants and expectations in my life, they view as luxuries.  I heard a couple of songs on the radio, that I have heard a million times before, but for the first time they take on a new meaning for me.  They touch me deeper than they ever have before.

Even after the work is done Oklahoma, God is still working on my heart.

I want God to open my eyes to the world around me.  Even though I may not have some huge expendable income, I can still help others, that my life isn't all about me and my own little world but that there is a bigger world around me that God has commanded me to serve as a beakon of his light.  If I can't follow his example, how will others ever know God the way I do?

God may command us to to be the light to the world and the salt of the earth, but He also gives us free will, the allowance to choose to obey or disobey.  But why should i disobey?  Why if he was willing to die for me, that I can't be willing to live for him?  I refuse to hide in my spiritual shell and chose to do nothing about the world around.  It's not about being spiritual and looking like a "good" person.  It's about having faith in God, trusting in the one who has ALWAYS kept his promises, and living that faith bold and out loud. 

Missions Trip Broken Arrow OK Day 6 - update

Today was our last day with Living Stones Church.  It was a bitter sweet day for all of us.  We know that they appreciate what we have done to help them and we know that they are equipped and ready to run with it.  But we have made some friends and it's hard to leave that.

This has been an amazing trip, and I have been blessed by the experience.  But I have also heard some heart breaking stories.

The pastor and his wife lost their daught to Leukemia last year.  Their other child ran away, and is now homeless and pregnant and refuses to go home.  She was brought home, but ran away again.  How heartbreaking it must be to essentially lose two children in one year.  And yet they strive on for their community and for thier grandchildren.  The daughter that died left behind two children of her own (Christy and Jayla) and four foster children (Cassidy, Najha, Destiny, and Eternity) whom she had taken care of for years.  With big hearts they couldn't see the foster children being split up and moved to new homes, and so they are now raising their late daughters' six kids.  They say it's what she would have wanted and they seem proud to do it.

Some of the stories i wish I could share, but publicly on here, it's not my place to do so.  But please, please, pray for the kids and families of this community.   I am so thankful that there are people like Rev. and Mrs. Trimiar and Carl and Angie Walker, people who see a need in their community and are striving to meet that need despite the limited resources they may posses.

Ms Lynda is the church's main Secretary, but she does so much more than that.  She runs a summer food program at the church for the local children, she runs a tutoring/mentory program, and she helps struggling families get back on their feet.

I know we've accomplished a lot this week.  The church itself is highly organized and functional, and the Men have done and Phenomenal job on the study room and bathroom building.

One of the things i noticed when I was cleaing and organizing the books, was how beaten up and tattered the church's bibles are.  I also know that many of these kids do not have a bible of their own, they just can't afford it or thier parents see no point in having one.  A lot of times church is the only time these kids get to read the bible.

I was wondering could we get a discount is we ordered Bibles in bulk.  Maybe 15 kids Bibles for the Children's Class, 20 for the Youth Group, and 50 to 75 general adult Bibles for the sanctuary.  Once I find out what that would cost, then maybe fundraising to make the money to pay for the Bibles and the money it would cost to send them there.

I will miss this place and these people.  Knowing them has made my life better.

Missions Trip Day 5 - Broken Arrow OK - Update

Today was once again a fun but tiring day.

We had 37 kids at Vacation Bible School this morning, and we had class outside because we were finishing up a project in the sunday school / fellowship room this morning.

 

Today we were talking about God's plan for us and the ABC's of Salvation

Black - Unrepented sin leads to eternal darkness.  It is a  condition of the heart that every human has because of Adam and Eve's original sin.  (Romans 3:23 "For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God")

Red - We may have sin in our lives, but God loves us and does not want to be separated from him. But the problem is Sin is Sin and the cost of the sin is death. So he sent Jesus to die in our place. The blood of Christ flowed freely for all (Romans 5:8 "For God demonstrates his love for us in the while we were still sinners, Christ died for us")

White- The blood of Jesus paid the price for our sins and washes the darkness out of our lives.  It allows us to live in the light of a loving and merciful God. (Psalm 51:7 "... wash me, and I will be white as snow")

Blue-  When we repent of our sins and accept the free gift of God's forgiveness, baptism symbolizes our new lives in Christ.  Baptism is an outward expression of an inward decision.  It tells those you know and love that you have decided to become a follower of Christ, and have chosen to live a new life pleasing to God. (Romans 5:4 "Therefore we were burried with him by baptism.")

Green-  Grapes grow because they are being nurished by their vine.  Jesus tells us that he is the vine and we are the branches, if we remain in him, he will remain in us and we will bear much fruit (John 15:5).  For this reason we must grow in our faith, we must attend church, read the bible and pray.  We must be continually growing in our understanding of our Lord and Savior. (2 Peter 3:18 "But grow in the grace and understanding of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ")

Yellow - All this has been done so that we may live eternally in God's glorious kingdom of heaven. (Revelations 10:2 "Be faithful unto death and I will give you the crown of life.")

JOHN 3:16

"For God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten son that whosoever believed in him shall not perish but have everlasting life."

The ABC's of Salvation

A

Admit that you are a sinner

B

Believe that God sent Jesus to die for our sins

C

Confess your faith in God and be baptized a Christian

When we were reviewing the ABC's of salvation, this little boy, Daryll (pictured below) got the letter B correct, when i said "yes, good job" he screams with arms raised high, "I win!!!!".

Daryll

Carl Jr. (aka - Poopy)

Wednesday

(yes that's her name)



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Our projects are coming along nicely.  Joann has been hard at work re-tiling the sunday school / dining room.  She completed the job today, and it looks phenomenal.



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Another project we knocked out of the way was we moved  Rev. Trimiar's gigantic pulpit to the back of the sanctuary to be used as a sound stage.  But a baptist preacher can not be without a pulpit so three of us undertook the task of transforming an old podium/pulpit into one I'm sure he would be proud to stand behind.

 Before



Ashlyn and I began by sanding it down.  But as the electronic and sound system tech of the group, i needed to make a Radio Shack run to get the sound system running for Family Night that night.

Ashlyn and Lacey finished up the transformation with a beautiful off white paint job on the podium.

After

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Today the men made awesome headway on the study room and bathroom.  I'm not going to tell you what they did, I'm just going to show you.

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After a hard day at work, we got to have some fun.  Tonight was family night.  This meant the kids got to show what they've been learning all week and we had an awesome cookout.  Complete with a water balloon fight, and ended with just us slinging water and each other and putting ice cubes down each others backs.

Each age group did a different song from our songs this evening, and a group of girls did and interperative dance.

And in honor of the turtle who lost his life on the drive over here on Sunday. We presented to Pastor Trey the "Turtle Award".



Tomorrow will be another long day.  But this trip has been fun, and has taught me so much. I know I will not return home the same person I came.  I know we are helping those here at Living Stones Church but I feel i have gotten more from this trip than i have given.